Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
