and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
