Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
