wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
