Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
