I can't watch pbs sober anymore
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
