At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
