She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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