Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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