I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
People in love make me want to vomit
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
