i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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