My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
