we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
