Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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