i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
