My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
