; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
