yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
