so that wasnt chicken after all
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
