my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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