you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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