This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
