oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
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