everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
In America we eat man semen.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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