I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
