We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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