no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
