Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Randomize
