I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize