Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
