my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize