thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
40s are totally the cure
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
