I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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