I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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