I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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