That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
