Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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