In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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