Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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