Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
