I skipped work to stalk him.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
