Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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