Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
