yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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