Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
