you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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