I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
