Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
