The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize