i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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