This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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