You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
