Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
