the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
