is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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