You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
