Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
