I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
