i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
