Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
