just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
