the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm really busy with my period
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