he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
